We hope you have all had a wonderful holiday season with your family. We know first hand how challenging this time of the year can be for families parenting children with mental health issues and developmental disabilities. But even with all the challenges, there are always opportunities for joy, growth, and change.
We are not big fans of New Year Resolutions. If they fail, and they often do, they can add extra stress and anxiety into the lives of already challenging families. However, we do see the yearly ceremonial calendar change as an opportunity to examine the past year and consider things to do a little differently.
Before you get overwhelmed about reading yet another ‘New Year Change List’, know this to be true – adjustments do not have to be huge (or costly) to have a positive impact on your family. So here we go……
10 Quick Points to Think About As We Say Goodbye to 2016 and Hello 2017
1. Slow Down. The world will not end if you miss an appointment, are a little late, or decide to take the day off you deserve.
2. Practice More Self-Care. This is a game changer. Why? Because self-care leads to better physical and emotional health. And pretending you are calm, is not the same as being truly calm. Your body, brain, AND children know (and feel) the difference.
3. Eat Better. When you eat better your whole family wins, your body and brain will thank you. Plus your children will see you making better food choices and it will become part of their world.
4. Learn All You Can About Emotional Regulation and Co-Regulation. This movement is changing the lives of children and families. Check out these links to learn more: https://self-reg.ca and http://www.feedingfuturesnutrition.com/our-programs/calm/
5. Connect With Your Child Before You Correct. This is a new phrase to adopt in your house. The connection is where you learn why children are acting the way they are, and what they need. Everyone wins when connections are made. If you do nothing else new in 2017, make sure to focus on making connections – this will help with EVERYTHING.
6. Sleep, Sleep and More Sleep. No one can be emotionally healthy without quality sleep. If your child is not sleeping, do all you can to reduce daily anxiety triggers. The same goes for the adults in your house. Sleep is necessary and is the great equalizer.
7. Celebrate Your Child’s Skills. Build your child up. Are they showing you something they love? Let them do it, and then join them in the activity.
8. Make Shame The Enemy. The negative developmental impact of shame casts a very long shadow. Stop using it, and call out others (even teachers, school administrators and your parenting partner) who think it is a way to motivate better behaviour.
9. Practice Controlled, Deep Breathing. The benefits of a deep breath, in a controlled and calming way, can not be understated. It can be used as anxiety prevention and also in times of heightened anxiety. It is a necessary skill for both children and adults. Even better, find a yoga therapist and take a class with your kids. Learning the power of breathing together will be life changing.
10. Reach Out. Find your tribe, ask for help, lift each other up, know you are not alone.
And above, all remember this – A Goal Without a Plan – Is Only a Wish.
Hope these 10 points will help you have a happiest and healthy 2017 possible.
Happy New Year!!
Lisa and Laurie